How does that make you feel?

Something we all battle with is emotion and as followers of Christ the way we respond to emotion is
rather important not only to our personal walk with the Lord but also our witness.

Before I really get going on this post I need to tell you a little story about something the Lord began
doing in my life many years ago. For as long as I can remember I have suffered with Seasonal
Affective Disorder. Now, when I was in elementary school and even through middle school I did not
know what to call it I thought “this is just how you feel in the winter, it’s gray outside all winter in
Kentucky so this is how you feel.” but I was wrong, that is not how you have to feel all winter.

When I was a sophomore in high school I started to notice that this was not just how I felt in the winter
months but my emotions and hormones were acting crazy all year long even in the middle of summer.
Then when I was a senior in high school things really went downhill fast. It was the beginning of the
spring semester and I had what I call a mental break down. It all began in a big explosion as though
my brain went off like  Mt. St. Helen.

One day I was doing pretty well and the next I could not stop crying. Everything felt as though it were
falling apart. I began to doubt everything I had ever believed about my faith starting with the existence
of God. I couldn’t feel Him there anymore so to my now depressed and anxious mind that meant
He was not there at all. Of course God was there the whole time, a fact He proved to me the day I
finally went to my mom about my struggles. Over the next two years God continued to prove to me that
He was not going to leave my side no matter how many questions and doubts and fears I threw
His way. There was no question He could not answer, no doubt that surprised Him and no fear He
could not conquer. God taught me many things through this time of my life but one of the biggest things
I learned was that I cannot listen to the way that I feel or expect my flesh to feel what I defined as
‘the right way’ about any situation. I had to learn to trust God no matter what my mind told me reality
was. Mental illness is not something I would wish on anyone. The one part of you that is supposed to
help the rest of your body and life function properly does not work quite right, in my opinion it's the
worst form of sickness that sin brought into the world. Now having said that, is there anything our God
cannot handle? He overcame death! He said, “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in
me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the
world.” John 16:33 (NLT) Yes trials will come but why should we live like we are defeated when we
have the risen, all powerful, Jesus Christ who overcame the world living inside of us?

I recently had the opportunity to speak on emotion at the campus ministry where I attend college and it
was such a blessing. God directed me to an amazing passage, Matthew 26:36-44. Just before this
passage we see Christ celebrate the last supper with His disciples. It is important to remember that
Jesus told the disciples that one of them would betray Him, and that He has told Peter that he will deny
even knowing Him, which of course Peter denys would ever happen. For added clarification I want to
establish that emotion is completely circumstantial and is not at all defined by truth. When Jesus and
His disciples are in the garden of Gethsemane it says, “He took Peter and Zebedee’s two sons, James,
and John, and He became anguished and distressed. He told them, ‘My soul is crushed with grief to
the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.” (V37-38)

WOW

WOW

WOW

This is our Savior. Being human, being a man, His flesh is crying out because of His circumstances.
He knows what it is going to cost Him to do the Father’s will. As we already noted, Christ knows He will
be betrayed, He knows His friends will deny knowing Him and will desert Him, He knows He will be
arrested, beaten, tortured, and hung on a cross, a cross that is reserved for the lowest of the low, the
most despicable people of society and to make the biggest understatement in history, Jesus is not
despicable. Jesus was not being dramatic in saying His “soul is crushed with grief to the point of death.”
His flesh was responding to His circumstances.

Let’s look at what Christ does next though. It’s kind of a big deal.

Christ prays.

The very next verse picks up with, “He went on a little further and bowed with His face to the ground,
praying, ‘My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me.
Yet I want your willto be done, not mine.’”

When Jesus came to this earth it was multi purposeful, He came to die on the cross to save us from
our sins and provide a way for us to be made right with God and also to show us how we ought to live
as children of God. So, who better to look to for an example of how to respond to emotion than Christ.

I do want to make the disclaimer that this post is not just about when you are experiencing negative
emotion. Often when we are experiencing negative circumstances we do go to God, it is when we are
experiencing very happy, pleasant circumstances that we do not go to God. Isn’t all emotion difficult to
understand, does the human heart stop being deceitful? Jeremiah 17:9-10 tells us, “The human heart
is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is? But I the
LORD search all hearts and examine secret motives. I give all people their due rewards according to
what their actions deserve.”are we not commanded to “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by
prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.”
Philippians 4:6 (KJV) When God says everything He most certainly means everything not just some
things, or a certain few things on some list but EVERYTHING.

I want you to understand right now that it is not sinful to feel and to feel deeply. As we just saw Jesus’
emotions were responding to His circumstances the same way ours do everyday and He was feeling
very deeply. It’s the way we respond, what we choose to do with our emotions that can
either be sinful or honoring to God.

There are a couple of important things to notice about Jesus’ prayer. First being that He is honest with
God, “My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me.” Jesus was a man,
we are told in the scriptures that He suffered all the same things we do in Psalm 147:5 we are told,
“His understanding is infinite” then in Hebrews 4:15 “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to
sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has been tested in every way as
we are, yet without sin.” How dare I ever accuse my Savior of not being able to understand what I am
going through. Not only can he comprehend because His understanding is infinite but because He has
gone through it Himself. Be honest with God and with yourself. Do not be afraid to admit you are weak
and are feeling extreme emotion. Tell God how you feel. Something I have learned though is that it is
very important to not just tell God how I feel but to give my circumstances and feelings over to God, to
truly let Him have control over every part of what I am experiencing. So, how do you feel? Don’t hide
from feeling, don’t fear feeling. You do not have to pretend to be strong for God. So often when I face
situations I do not like but knowing that as a Christ follower I am going to have to choose to deny my
flesh I go to God and I say “Your will be done” forgetting to say first, “God, I don’t want to choose this,
I want…” Please don’t forget to be honest about how you feel.

When you go to God to tell Him what is going on don’t just list the problems let go and let Him have
them completely. God is the only one who can take care of them, the only one who truly understands,
who can empathize with you, He is called “the Wonderful Counselor” go to Him and let Him help you.  

The second thing is that Christ submits to the Father’s will, saying, “Yet I want your will to be done, not
mine.” This is significant, yes because this means Christ died for the sins of the world but also because
He showed us something about how to be a human being following God. Even though Christ was
dealing with emotion, even though His flesh was crying out in rebellion against suffering Jesus chooses
to deny His flesh and follow God.  Christ is perfect which means that He never sinned so He was being
honest in saying, “yet I want your will to be done, not mine.” Your flesh does not have to agree with
what the Holy Spirit tells you. In fact we are told it will not. As we already saw the heart is the most
deceitful, but we also have Romans 8:7 “For the sinful nature is always hostile to God. It never did obey
God’s laws and it never will.” but it goes on, skipping over verse 8 to verse 9 we see,
“But you are not controlled by your sinful nature. You are controlled by the Spirit if
you have the Spirit of God living in you.”

I will never forget the day when I realized that regardless of what my flesh is screaming I get to choose
what I want. It sounds so simple but when I was in the depths of depression there were those moments
when my head was buzzing with lies that were nearly impossible to think around I would have walked
away from the faith years ago were it not for the Holy Spirit directing me.

This is not at all to say that people are of no help to you, quite the contrary actually. Lets look at Christ’s example again. Verse 37 begins in this way, “He took Peter and Zebedee’s two sons, James and John, and He became anguished and distressed.” Jesus did not separate Himself from other believers, He told them, “Stay here and keep watch with me”. There are many other places in scripture where we are told to help our brothers and sisters in Christ, Galatians 6:2 to “Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.” (NLT)

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one

person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.” (NLT)

I know this post is ridiculously long but I love love LOVE this passage.

Notice that Christ goes and prays this prayer three times while in the garden. His flesh did not stop
crying out but having given things over to God He chose to deny His flesh and follow God. Yes on the
cross God had to turn His back on Christ but Christ did not go all the way to the cross by Himself He
went all that way carrying the Holy Spirit, walking with God.

After He prayed the first time Jesus comes back to where Peter, James and John are, finds them
asleep and says to them, “Couldn’t you watch with me even one hour? Keep watch and pray, so that
you will not give in to temptation. For the spirit is willing, but the body is weak!” (V40b-41 NLT)

Jesus shows us here how to prepare our bodies to fight these circumstantial emotions, Keep watch and
pray aka, in order to be prepared for and alert to when temptation comes along, talk with and listen to
God, read the scriptures, develop meaningful relationships with other believers, and pray. Jesus was
guiding Peter in this moment. Jesus knew that Peter was about to face a situation that would cause
him to have extreme emotion leading him to cut off the ear of the slave as well as deny knowing Christ.
We know that Peter’s spirit was willing, “Peter declared, ‘Even if everyone else deserts you, I will never
desert you.’” (V33) and Jesus knew what would give Peter’s spirit the strength it needed to
combat the coming circumstances.

Look at our Savior, doing His best to help His disciples grow and learn even though He is about to face
horrendous torture, denying His flesh the opportunity to wallow in self pity. Look at our wonderful
Savior, Oh just to stare at His beautiful feet, YES “how beautiful are the feet of those who bring  good
news!” Romans 10:15b (sorry I had a Paul moment there)

So, to wrap up this very long post, whenever you feel any kind of emotion, good, bad, great, fantastic,
horrible, crushing, and even flat go directly to God, pray and hand your emotions over to our God who
does not only sympathize with you but empathize with you, draw near to other believers, pray together,
stay in God’s Word and remember, emotion is circumstantial you are not defined by how you feel you
are defined by the totally non circumstantial God who loves you more than you can comprehend.

With much love and prayer,

-Savanah